Alien 51 (2004)
Starring: Heidi Fleiss, Phoebe Falconer
Director: Brennon Jones, Paul Wynne
Obviously, the producers of this movie could not get a “real” star, so they decided to hire a “celebrity” who has long outlived her 15 minutes of fame to draw attention to this flick instead. Enter ex prostitution ringleader Heidi Fleiss. Her role in this film is (fortunately) very limited. To put it nicely, she simply can’t act. She looks like she is about a hundred years old and spaced out on who knows what kinds of drugs. The film even features her “shooting up” with some kind of mystery drug, and her circus-freak assistant smoking crack while on a break.
The leading actress in this movie is decent looking, but nothing to get excited about. I’m guessing that it took a truckload of hydrogen peroxide in order to keep her hair that color throughout the movie, not to mention a truckload of bright red lipstick. She can barely act, as is true of most of the cast.
The bad acting, cheezy special effects and lousy editing are bad enough, but its the script that doomed this film from the very beginning. At best, the plot simply makes no sense. Supposedly, the government’s most top-secret, lethal biological killing machine has just escaped from Area 51. So, who do they send to take care of the problem? A 100 lb blond bimbo with a Rambo knife. Yeah, sure. I wish I could say that the plot was confusing, but that’s not the case. It’s just plain stupid and unbelievable.
I have to concur with other reviewers that the person writing this screenplay may very well have been under the influence of some mind-altering chemical. I suspect that may have been the case with a lot of the people connected to this movie. Exactly why you would throw-in someone smoking crack in the middle of the film for no apparent reason, describing how great it felt, pretty much speaks for itself. You pretty much would have to be using crack in order to think that this movie was any good.
If making bad movies was a crime, the makers of this film deserve a life sentence. “Just say NO” to Alien 51.
